Wednesday, December 21, 2011


Euro-zone debt crisis resolved by Satan in a Santa Clause suit or Santa in a Satan suit. Authorities will not be able to establish identity until DNA tests come back from the cleaners.

Sheeple establish base on Moon. May soon settle other planets, leaving the rest of us behind.

Scientists find strange orb near sun. Conspiracy theorists are suspicious, think scientists are just yanking their chains. Head of NASA says, "No, it really is a space ship! Pull my finger!"

Kim Jong Il still dead, probably replaced by son who looks like a confused baby watching a dog fight. Rumored to sleep in Star Wars pajamas, son is actually a military genius who will soon conquer Japan using hand grenades thrown by catapult.

Pope to visit Nebraska, meet with Illuminati there to discuss launch of papal missiles from underground bunkers. Cats and dogs are scared, move in together.

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