Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Grandma Riker's Home Remedy



A simple home remedy that really works!

In a small saucepan mix one(1) tablespoon honey, two(2) tablespoons vinegar, a pinch of cinnamon and one quarter(1/4) cup skim or nonfat milk.

Heat mixture over low heat for five minutes, stirring monotonously.

Remove from heat. Breathe in the vapors and exhale three times. Pour mixture into one(1) small bottle, an empty aspirin bottle would be ideal. Cap the bottle tight.

On a clear, moonless night, dig a hole in a desolate place and bury the mixture along with three(3) white hairs from a roadkill animal. A skunk or opossum would be ideal.

Walk around the mixture backwards three times chanting, "I eat you, fallow pig, I eat you, fallow dog, I eat you fallow lava lamp."

Cut yourself and bleed.

If you follow these instructions carefully, the thing that comes in the night to devour your soul will be banished from you forever.

Maybe.

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